You Talk Too Much… A Closer Look
I believe that one of the biggest lies women tell is lies dealing with men “opening up”. One of my biggest regrets with women is talking too much, saying too much too soon. I look at the past, and I think all the times when I was nervous around a woman I was attracted to. Out of fear of silence and an envisioned rejection, I would talk and keep talking about everything but what I needed to talk about. Let’s just say that I have ample experience with being friend-zoned by virtue of not being able to shut up. It took me some years to understand that SILENCE, or saying minimal, produces better results than spewing out your life story to a woman.
You seldom hear a woman complain about a man who says too little, at least not in a way that affects her attraction for him. A woman might say things like, “I can’t figure him out”, “What does he mean by that”? Or “I don’t understand him”. Women often feel like they have men figured out, especially the ones who simp or play the passive game. I’m sure you have heard women talk about men who are always talking. Usually, it’s men oversharing about their life, their political leanings, their religious beliefs, way too soon in the courtship, eliminating all mystery before romance can even truly blossom.
What Real Communication Looks Like with Women
It is my belief that when a woman expresses her desire for a man to open-up, they are meaning for you to discuss what you need them to do in order to please or impress you. Women are looking for well-defined intentions/directives from men, not your problems or your innermost fears.
Examples:
- You are in a committed relationship/marriage. Your goal should be to explain to your girlfriend/wife how to become better in some way. You should be DIRECTING/TEACHING HER HOW TO DO SOMETHING TO HELP YOU OR IMPROVE THE RELATIONSHIP. If your sex life has become stagnant, explain to her what she needs to do in order to spark that fire in you again. Another example in this relationship type could be that you sit your woman down and explain to her your plans on how you are going to take the two of you to the next level; say, for example, financially. If you can, make your woman part of the journey. Doing does a couple of things. You are “letting her in”, which she will make her feel more connected to you. You are also building up your woman’s self-esteem as well, adding knowledge and value to her life.
- You are at the “interested” in a girl/woman. At this phase, women are already aware that a man is romantically attracted. Your job as the potential “man of her dreams”, is to explain to her in a direct but respectful way what your intentions are. IF you are trying to build romantic interest, the last thing you want to do is to talk about your past trauma or your bad luck in life. Women DO NOT WANT TO HEAR ABOUT YOUR PROBLEMS! Sorry guys! This is especially true when it comes to the early onset of romance. Women will never admit this, but there is nothing sexy or intriguing about you telling a woman that at 16, your mom left you outside for days without food or water. Telling a woman about your problems early on can tell them that you are in more need of a therapist than a potential girlfriend.
Final Thoughts
The woman you talk to the least will appreciate your attention the most. If you intend on building a romantic connection with a woman, don’t wait for the perfect time. Do it from the beginning. Pull the woman aside and let her know how you feel. Be concise and respectful. The more you talk to a woman without trying to establish a romantic connection, the more likely she is to friend-zone you.
Remember, women, at any given time, look at men in through 2 lenses:
1. Men who are ACTIVELY pursuing them (which they decide if they will return the energy)
2. Men who are PASSIVELY pursuing them which they know is bs, so they friendzone you as punishment.
Live your truth and be honest with women.